Juan Pablo Stole Rachel’s Thunder And Got Married

Everyone’s least favorite Bachelor, Juan Pablo, oh, wait, maybe our least favorite Bachelor was Nick… anyway, Juan Pablo got married to some poor soul. OKAY that’s kind of an exaggeration because the woman he married is some sort of Latin model and Miss Venezuela EARTH, whatever that title means. My point is, Juan Pablo is off the market for now so everyone can briefly remember who this was and immediately stop caring after they read this article. 

Unlike other Bach alums, Juan Pablo’s nuptials were on the DL. The couple invited only close friends and family and none for Chris Harrison bye. But an “insider” tells Us Magazine that they’ll probably have another, larger wedding in Venezuela later on. I mean, last I heard, the political scene in Venezuela is kind of a shit show right now, like, even more than politics in the U.S. so that wedding might have to be later rather than sooner.

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Juan Pablo became a thing when the former soccer star was The Bachelor way back in 2014. He refused to tell the winner, Nikki Farrell, that he loved her and let her down real hard with an “I like you” even after she told him she was in love. Oh yeah, then he got in a fight with Chris Harrison about it on After the Final Rose. Wait, was Juan Pablo the original Chad?! Damn, nothing is new anymore.

Chris obvi carries some bad blood about Juan Pablo because of the snippy way he mentioned the wedding on Monday night’s Bachelorette finale. He was totally like “Juan Pablo wanted everyone to know he’s married now and we, at The Bachelor, barely care, but we’ll mention it anyway.” Then Harrison proceeded to basically mock his accent, which is easily mock-able but whatever.

Anyway, Juan Pablo and Nikki couple broke up somewhat shortly after the season aired, and, as a real winner would do, Juan Pablo shot off a Donald Trump-like tweet about it.

Actually, now that I mention it, all of his tweets kind of sound similar to the President’s. It’s like they both went to the school of shitty social media etiquette or something.

So congrats to Juan Pablo and Marries Osmariel Villalobos (which is a name I’m glad I don’t have to pronounce, ever) on your marriage. Let’s hope the relationship you formed outside the framework of a TV show with a really shitty track-record for lasting relationships actually lasts! 








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