You know how in high school you literally did everything in your power to avoid getting caught partying? You were like, “Hey mom, staying at Marissa’s tonight! Oh, you don’t know her. We are lab partners in AP Chemistry, but she’s great and really sweet and we’ll probably just watch A Walk to Remember and flip through magazines! See you tomorrow!”
But really, you’re off smoking weed in the bottom of Chad’s basement and going to second base. Classic.
It appears Johnny Manziel should have taken a play out of the sneaky teenager playbook, because his dad knows all of the shit he’s done lately (and it’s a lot of shit).
Manziel’s dad, Paul, went on ESPN and said Johnny is “either going to die, or he’s going to figure out that he needs help.” Paul also said that he hopes Johnny goes to jail, saying that would be the “best place for him.”
It’s some heavy shit, but appropriately so. Johnny has had his string of fuck-ups in the last two years, including a stint in rehab, an arrest for domestic violence and a hit-and-run crash. Even better, in a text accidentally sent to the Associated Press, one of Johnny’s defense lawyers put him on blast, saying “Heaven help us if one of the conditions [of a plea deal] is to pee in a bottle.”
Doubtful that a defense lawyer “accidentally” sent that text to the fucking Associated Press, but either way it’s bad news for Johnny. And according to Paul Manziel, it’s time to stop talking about Johnny Football.
“I’m done talking about it,” he said. “I’m doing my job and I’m going to move on. If I have to bury him, I’ll bury him. That’s the fact. So if not, if he calls me and needs help, I’ll go get him. Until then, he’s on his own. I’ve done everything I can do.”