John Kasich Just Became The Betchiest Presidential Candidate

John Kasich just received this betch’s endorsement for president after supporting a national holiday for hangovers: the day after Super Bowl Sunday.

As explained by Kasich on The Dan Patrick Show, the Ohio politician said there’s “no productivity whatsoever” on the day following the Super Bowl. So when Dan Patrick asked if that day should be a holiday, Kasich gave the people what they wanted.

“It should be. There’s no productivity whatsoever. I think it should be,” Kasich, our hero, said. “I’m going to take that under consideration. Maybe I can get that done in the first 100 days.”

Kasich is likely just pandering to millennial voters, but it’s fucking working. Another three-day weekend in February is just what this country and my hangovers need to be successful.

Plus, prioritizing a hangover holiday in the first 100 days of a presidency is a guaranteed boost to favorability ratings. And it’s not like anyone ever does any work on the day after the Super Bowl, anyway.

See you in the White House, Johnny boy.


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