ICYMI Joe Jonas was Gigi Hadid’s rebound between Cody Simpson and Zayn Malik. They dated for a little bit in 2015, but other than their celeb couple naming being GI Joe and imagining how Taylor Swift reacted to a squad member dating her ex, IDGAF. You can’t date a guy your friend wrote a breakup song about, that’s just like the rules of feminism. Anyway, Gigi quickly moved onto dating Zayn, and the rest is just a stunning Vogue spread.
Joe didn’t take the breakup well, probably because Gigi is the best he’ll ever do both romantically and professionally. Right after he found out about Zayn, he posted and deleted a passive-aggressive Instagram of him and Zayn at a fashion show and then unfollowed him. I’m sure Zayn was really upset over that, good thing he had a Victoria’s Secret model to comfort him.
But this week, Joe gave an interview with The Daily Mirror and talked some major shit. First he said, “That dude and I have been compared for years, I think it’s just funny. I haven’t really listened to his music.” But has he turned on the radio in the last five years? If so, then Joe has most definitely listened to Zayn’s music, even accidentally. Also, what is so funny? They were both in boy bands, and they both have incredibly shaped eyebrows. Pretty sure that’s where the comparison ends.
Then he announced that he has a new song coming out that “is going to piss someone off.” I’m pretty sure Joe Jonas hasn’t upset anyone other than conservatives when he took off his purity ring, but okay. I’m sure the middle school girls listening to the song will understand the angst. But Joe’s final insult was, “I think it’s interesting that she moved on so quickly. I mean, it was definitely very quick.” I’m not sure if he’s implying that Gigi cheated on him with Zayn or is low-key slut shaming her.
Either way, homegirl upgraded so I’m still on her side.
Basically, Joe’s entire life has become a Taylor Swift breakup song and he needs to move the fuck on.