If You Didn’t Instagram On The Fourth of July Is Your Citizenship Revoked?

Statistics show that if you did not get an Instragram of the perfect firework explosion this weekend, come Monday, your birth certificate will burst into flames. Okay, in all seriousness, I’m all about supporting our country as well as a fabulous Instagram photo but the amount of cliché grams of fireworks and girls in bikinis in front of American flags that graced my newsfeed were obscene.

First thing's first, did any of you own these flags before the fourth? Do you keep them up in your lawn all year round? Rhetorical question. We all know you just put the flag up Friday morning across your garage door for you to pose in front of. Hashtagging America was also of the utmost importance; because we obviously didn’t know what country you were wishing a happy birthday to with your American flag bikini paired with high waisted shorts with stars and stripes on the pockets. We definitely thought you were just trying to say hbd to Iraq, so thanks for clarifying with that hashtag. And if the Instagrams didn’t prove our impending spiral to be taken over by China soon, Twitter may have been even worse…



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