“I don't think men should take selfies, or say that word.”
Tbh same, a guy with a selfie on his Tinder profile is an automatic swipe left. But men should say the word selfie when he's complimenting me on mine.
“Selfie sticks used to be called 'friends.'”
No, selfie sticks used to be called the nice girl in your friend group that you keep around so she can take the group photo and make you a drink.
“I hate food. I don't like hashtags.”
Clearly he's unfamiliar with Eating for the Insta. The whole point of eating from March through August is to advertise how skinny and social you are. If you don't caption a photo of $30 worth of Taco Bell that you didn't eat with “I can't go to Taco Bell Karen, I'm on a all-carb diet.” then you probably should just delete your Instagram account and save us all the trouble of scrolling past you.
On the dad body
“I don't like people that aren't rappers trying to make new slang.”
He's not wrong, because sometimes we take slang too far (see: totes for totally). But, he needs to get off his high horse because the dad body is crucial to the betch vocabulary, especially when describing the latest pledge class.