How To Tell If A Bro You’re Hooking Up With Has a Girlfriend

Sometimes bros are shadier than a fucking palm tree. You’ve started hooking up with a bro and he’s a fun time, whatever. But he is very inconsistent about any plans that he’s made with you (let’s be real he made the plans because guys are always chasing after betches). So why the fuck even make them if you’re going to cancel them anyway? And who’s that fugly bitch in his profile picture? Here’s how to tell that a bro may have a GF.

He won’t request to be your Facebook friend

This one may seem pretty fucking obvious but sometimes betches overlook it. There’s a reason he isn’t adding you on the one place where you can stalk him to death. And no, it’s not that he is trying to play it cool, if you’ve known the guy for a few weeks he should be your FB friend, come on it’s like the modern day rite of passage.

He texts someone else when he’s with you

If he always seems busy with his phone then clearly he’s more interested in whomever he’s talking to than you. Every betch should be the center of guys’ attentions because like… duh. If he jumps up eager like Lana Del Rey at a plastic surgeon to check his phone every time the damn “bing” goes off then there’s someone important on the line… and it ain’t you honey.

He only hangs to bang

If he only contacts you with a late night booty call text then most likely you aren’t on his mind during the day. If he’s always “busy” during the day then you can kiss his sorry ass home… back to his GF.

He has a “complicated ex situation”

This is code for “oh you may see me around with another girl… but don’t worry I still want to bang you.” It's not that complicated, the guy is a dick and she’s his main chick but he still wants to sleep around because like YOLO. Pull a Demi Moore and ditch him… fast.


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