Texting etiquette is a skill. In fact, it’s a fucking sport. Show me an Olympic athlete who can get the guy she rejected at Lavo last month to still be incessantly texting her, even though she replies like, one word every three days.
At this point in your betchy career, you should have the texting basics down, but in case you need some help, we’re here to show you what NOT to do. Here’s how to lose a guy in ten texts:
1. The Over Eager Text
If you’re texting a guy and including more than one punctuation mark in the entire convo, you probably sound way too fucking eager. Save the exclamation points for your besties, and the emojis too. I swear to god, that winky is face is not cute and the thumbs up is not cool.
2. The Way Too Honest Text
You need to seem as unavailable and busy-with-better-things as possible, so honesty can ruin that. If he asks what you’re up to and you’re currently eating peanut butter in bed with your hair wrapped in a towel, don’t tell him that. You’re out with friends. Simple as that.
3. The Drag-Out Text
Never drag out the convo and always avoid sending the last text. So many girls are idiots when it comes to knowing when the conversation is over. If the last text he sent was “kk” or “cool,” don’t bring up a new topic. You’re gonna have to accept the fact that it’s done.
4. The “Oops Wrong Person” Text
This was literally a trick we used in middle school, and nobody has fallen for it since. It’s embarrassingly pathetic. If you have nothing to text a guy, don’t try to convince him you texted him by accident. The chance you actually texted the wrong person is slimmer than Kendall Jenner during fashion week, and it never leads to anything good.
5. The Late-Night Response Text
If he texts you at 4am on a Saturday night asking what you’re up to, DO NOT answer. Just because nobody uses the phone call option on their phone anymore, it doesn’t mean booty calls don’t exist. The only exception here is if he’s that back burner bro that who’s into you and you already have the upper hand. If it’s anyone else, you’re out doing better things with better people.
6. The Daylight Text
If you’re completely sober and it’s like, noon on a Tuesday, don’t send him a “hey what’s up” or even worse, a “how’s your day going.” Nothing good ever comes out of initiating a texting convo when you’re both sober.
7. The Triple Text
Just like you shouldn’t be dragging out the conversation, you definitely shouldn’t be sending multiple texts if he hasn’t answered your previous one. Two texts in a row is fine if you’re finishing up a thought, but a third text is asking for rejection. He’s obviously over it, so don’t make this more awkward than it needs to be.
8. The Question Mark Text
If he hasn’t answered yet, drop it. You asked him what he was up to for the night like, five hours ago and he still hasn’t responded, so why would he answer now if you sent him a question mark? You’re coming across as more annoying than Anne Hathaway.
9. The LOL Text
Guys DGAF about abbreviations, so don’t use them. You’re trying to seem as chill as possible, so just refrain. Girly abbreviations like OMG and LOL are off-limits when texting a guy. That’s just like, the rules of feminism.
10. The Second Later Text
Wait at least 20 minutes before replying. Fifteen if it’s urgent. If you reply a second later, you’ll look desperate and available AF. Refresh your Instagram feed. Take a nap. Tweeze your eyebrows. Just wait it out before you respond.