How To: Deal With The Dud When Going Out

On any given night out the group vibes can quickly be ruined by a buzzkill, more commonly known as The Dud. This is the person who is “sooo tired,” has “a big day tomorrow,” or offers any other excuse for sucking the life out of the party and trying to split an Uber home before midnight. They’ll do anything to let you know they’re not having fun which includes yawning, staring out the window, crying, and other types of behavior usually displayed by torture victims, even though no one is forcing them to be there and they could literally leave at any time. It’s an annoying situation that we need to deal with when we’re trying to rage and also refuse to leave without a better pic of our outfit.

The first method of handling this situation that solves approximately 75% of cases is to buy that person shots and get them drunk.

Take a shot

Typically the Dud is so miserable because they’re staying sober for a particular reason (i.e. “I have an exam tomorrow”), or they’re just a masochist. Once they’re a few drinks deep they’ll usually forget about those things and everyone can move on with their evening sans getting hate beams shot at them for having fun.

If alcohol doesn’t work or the person refuses to drink, the next best option is to find a sacrifice, aka another person or group that is kind of boring that the Dud can glom onto and potentially leave with. This can be difficult to execute because you need to connect the right people without infecting the others and potentially sending a fun person home. Ideally, you find two Duds that can match up and walk into the (gloomy) sunset together.


And last but not least, if a Dud is actively bringing down the mood without any sign of turning the corner, you need to remove yourself from their sad circle and simply ignore them. Being boring is only for the winter months and when you’re dead, so you can’t let a Debbie Downer destroy a perfectly good time just because she wore the wrong pair of heels or doesn’t want to be tired tomorrow morning. You can remind her there’s something called “staying in,” which is a very viable option for people that don’t enjoy going out that they should def try for next time.

Bye Felicia


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