It’s been a while since I was in a relationship (2 years). We broke up months before my year abroad in Japan. (Lets call him Ben) He said it was better to break up in the moment to make things easier, I did the wrong thing to cry in front of him and to tell him that it was a huge mistake . I was devastated. The next months got weird without talking to him and also having his new gf stalking me. It was the perfect timing to move away. A year passed, he texted me once in a while or in special occasions (just like to catch up) and sometimes I replied.
So I went back to Montreal and I was already heading to NY for college, everything was great: friends, family, festivals. The best summer and without a clue of him. I actually did not asked about him, until I was drunk and vodka made the magic to text him. He replied with a snapchat and his new geofilter, he moved to the place that was going to be my new home, NYC.
We started texting, it was great, just like the old times. He asked me out, but definetely like a fuckboy, he bailed.
I threw a party the day we were supposed to meet up, I never said a word, but he showed up and apologized. We made out and updated. Everything seemed going well, but he never texted back after saying that we were going to start dating again and see were this was going. I was pretty annoyed. Two weeks later I was drunk and I kissed his friend. A week later, in another party, Ben wanted to hook up. The minute I denied him, the jerk told me that he lost his coinfidence on me because I made up with Mike, I responded that it meant nothing and it was only a kiss and also I brought him up that he was a jerk that ghosted me the last couple of weeks (bad decision).
At the end we went out just once with Ben, it was great. We were going to meet up soon, that day never came and I am not going to beg, but I still want him back. I don’t know how to do it without turning into a desperate nicegirl. It’s been over two months since we don’t text. I know, I should be already over him by now, but I truly believe that we are here for a reason. On the other hand I’ve been hooking up with Mike, it really meant nothing, since I realized that hooking up with him was really bitchy and he was starting to act like an ass. I set cards on the table, we decided on being friends like in the begining.
Stubborn canadian girl that believes in happy endings thanks to Amélie.
Dear Canadians Nicegirl (seems redundant, but OK),
Let this be a lesson to all you betches that delusional daters come in all shapes, sizes, nationalities, etc. I’m sorry but there is really nothing you can do to get a guy who doesn’t want you. And that much is obvious, btw. Know how I know? If a guy wanted to be with you he wouldn’t bail on plans and generally act flighty. He would a) want to hang out with you and b) also probably not start dating someone new a few months after you two broke up, just saying.
It’s about that time you take a look in the mirror and ask yourself precisely why you want this guy back. You were fine when you were partying and going to festivals, so what changed? My guess: the fact that your ex reemerged, only to reject you. I feel like at the end of the day, this is more of a pride thing than a “we’re destined to be together” thing. “I truly believe that we are here for a reason”—really, though? “Here” as in he stood you up for plans, only to reemerge at a party, make out with you, then ditch you again? Yeah, no. Time for a reality check. I’m happy to be that reality check.
Also, not to slut shame because you do you, but I can’t imagine that continuing to hook up with your ex’s friend helped things. It would definitely leave a sour taste in my mouth if my ex claimed he wanted to get back together with me, but was meanwhile making out with one of my friends.
Amélie Was A Weird Fucking Movie And Not Something You Should Aspire To,