Listen up, betches. It’s time for the World Series. I won’t be so shallow as to assume the only reason that betches are watching the World Series is to ogle at the first baseman’s ass, but it sure doesn’t hurt.
This year’s World Series is actually pretty fucking historic. The Cubs haven’t won a World Series since 1908. The Indians haven’t won since 1948. To put that in perspective, the Titanic hadn’t even been built, taken off, sank or been re-discovered the last time the Cubs won. America still had 48 states when the Indians won. That’s a really fucking long time ago.
So collectively, America gives a lot of shits about this World Series. But realistically, if you have no dog in the fight, it only makes sense to pick your fav team for the next week by judging the collective attractiveness of each team’s players. Presenting, the hottest gentlemen of the 2016 World Series. Bon appetit.
Kris Bryant, Chicago Cubs
Jeff Manship, Cleveland Indians
Anthony Rizzo, Chicago Cubs
Ryan Merritt, Cleveland Indians
Jake Arrieta, Chicago Cubs
Francisco Lindor, Cleveland Indians
Dexter Fowler, Chicago Cubs
Mike Napoli, Cleveland Indians
Javier Baez, Chicago Cubs
Tyler Naquin, Cleveland Indians