Hillary Clinton is Throwing Herself a Crazy Birthday Rager

Hillary Clinton is about to celebrate her 68th year spent campaigning to become President, or as the rest of us would call it, her birthday. In classic Hill form, she’s throwing herself a birthday party, because Bill would just fuck it up. There’s nothing more embarrassing than organizing a party for yourself, except the entire world knowing your husband cheated on you multiple times. So basically she’s out of fucks to give.

But don’t be fooled, it’s also a fundraising event. I mean, the best gift someone can give you is buying the Presidency – have we learned nothing from Scandal?? The party will be in New York City, but probably not at 1 Oak. John Legend is going to perform, but changing the lyrics so Hillary can sing along: “All of me, loves all of me.”

Haps b-day Hillary, do a shot for us. 


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