Betches are entitled to being high-maintenance. Like, we’re not gonna apologize for needing an Uber driver with five stars or getting the extra ten-minute massage while our nails dry. It’s not that we don’t know how to do shit for ourselves (let’s not forget our childhood nannies took Sundays off), we just choose not to.
Because we have high standards, we look for specific things in a guy. He needs to be noticeably taller, smart but not like annoying about it, financially promising without being too cocky, capable of making dinner reservations, and equally capable of following a heated Kendall vs. Kylie debate. Is that too much to ask?
Turns out it is. Often times, with high standards comes high-maintenance results, which brings me to my point: High-maintenance bros are the worst. No one wants to date the guy who spends more money on hair products than you do, or the guy who cringes when you dare to drink the tap water at Nobu.
High-maintenance bros make us feel like we need to step up our own betchy game. If I’m down for a movie-and-sweats kind of night, please don’t show up in my lobby looking like you’re on your way to a photo shoot for the Tommy Hilfiger Spring collection.
Don’t get me wrong. The high-maintenance bro is a step above your shady ex that has a Snapchat streak with three girls in your English Lit class. He’s probably even better than the guy who took you to Domino’s on the first date. But still, high-maintenance guys need to take it down a noch, or like ten. We appreciate that you remember to ask for soymilk in our lattes, but there’s only room for one betch in this relationship.
At the end of the day, an eligible bachelor can only be so eligible when you run into him in European Wax Center.