Help! This Crazy Bitch Won’t Stop Texting My BF – Ask A Pro

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Dear Head Pro,

I don't even know where to begin so ill just make a super long 50 page essay shorter: I've been dating this guy ever since i graduated High School and its been like 7 years on and off and there have been a lot of ups and downs in our past relationships, but now things have been great for about a year straight, no drama.

Unfortunately, we have a small problem. This basic betch refuses to stop texting him. Shes a girl from back in the day when we had lots of problems and literally, she texts him like twice a month and they always say something like “Hey, hope you're doing well xo.” There have been a couple of “I get it, I'm really going to stop texting you now, have a great life xos.” Then there was one in January being like “i cant believe you didn't even text me on my birthday” and then she texted him again recently being like “Hey .. just wanted to say hello and hope you're doing well. xo.” and then a couple days later “I'm closing this last chapter and throwing away 'our' book. I'd say I hate you but that is really mean .. i just don't like you anymore. At all.” i know she hasn't heard back because he shows me these messages, not to make me jealous but because i asked him to let me know if she ever contacts him. I've mellowed my jealousy a lot in the past few years and am really trying to be like the cool mellow girlfriend that understands but my patience is fading.

We are significantly older now and she hasn't gotten the clue. not to mention she is 5 years older than my boyfriend and he is 5 years older than me, making her a whopping 10 years my senior. i've always questioned the mental ability of betches who date younger.

I cant even explain how actually ridiculous this situation has gotten. I’ve considered calling her and texting her but i don't know if that's right and i really don't want him to give her the time of day but I'm about to tell her where to stick those cute little “xo's” and go crazy-AF-betch on her.

Help me.



Dear Borderline-crazy-AF-betch,

TBH, I think you're beyond the “borderline” qualifier. Like, you've been in an “on and off” (gross) relationship with a guy you've been dating for seven years since you were 18 (double gross), and now you're contemplating calling his crazy ex girlfriend and telling her off (might as well buy yourself a doublewide). You do nothing, here, because that's all you can do. Your boyfriend sounds like he's done nothing but ignore her, which is the right thing to do. Short of blocking her number, he can't magically make her texts stop appearing.

(As an aside, don't ever ask someone to “let you know if so and so contacts you.” Who are you, his parole officer? He's an adult, too, and who texts him is none of your business, especially if he's not up to anything inappropriate. If you're going to do that, go ahead and get an above-ground pool to go along with your doublewide.)

Sometimes with unwanted advances, you're best off responding to the person and saying “please stop contacting me, we have nothing left to discuss.” This is not one of those times. It's obvious that this girl is doing everything, ANYTHING for validation. I mean, those texts she sent, tho – that's about as desperate and loserish as it gets. Between that, her age and her passive-aggressive fuckery, it's clear you're dealing with a bonafide BSCB.

Calling and/or texting her, however, would make you the BSCB here. It's exactly what she wants, as her pathetic correspondence aren't so much about getting him back as they are about pissing you off, which you're allowing to happen. She would LOVE a response from you, because it would let her know that you actually take her as a threat (or at least, someone worthy of acknowledgement) and in her fucked up mind, that constitutes winning.

So again, do nothing. Say nothing. This isn't your fight, so let your boyfriend continue to deal with it himself. If you decide to make it your fight, you'll only drag this already trashy scenario in to full-blown Jerry Springer territory. I understand being upset at someone not respecting you or your relationship, but nothing you say or do to her will change that about her.

Triangular Kisses,

Head Pro

Head Pro is trying to answer your Ask a Pro questions more often. Email him at


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