227. Having a Good Side

“Switch, this isn’t my good side”

Any serious celebrity or person serious about looking like a celebrity knows the power of a good side. Even though looking like Gisele is like, not that hard for a betch, the good side comes in handy when some rando is taking a picture and you want to make sure that you look gorg without trying.

The ‘good side’ is basically the skinny arm’s hotter, younger sister, an understood necessity when constantly posing for photographs and needing to look tiny and more attractive than other people. When used together, the good side and skinny arm can effectively make anyone look amazing, unless you’re ugly.

Most betches come to know their good side at a young age. Deciding which side to pose on is important, and shouldn’t be taken lightly. It comes from hours and hours of practice, not unlike the preparations professional athletes go through. Determining how to pose is a milestone like getting your first push-up bra or pair of heels, but better and betchier.

You can easily identify the biggest betch in a group by how fiercely she insists on posing on her good side. Obviously everyone has their own, but sometimes when you take 20-50 pictures of yourself in an evening, two good sides don’t coordinate. But a true betch will orchestrate an entire photo/Insta upload around her good side, and everyone else will fall in line. “Bow down betches” – Beyoncé and betches everywhere.

Everyone knows at least one betch who is psycho about her good side. It’s obvious because all of her profile pictures are the same fucking thing. You can flip through the album and everything changes but her face stays the same, like Bruce Jenner and Cher. Whatever though, that betch wins because she looks amazing in all of them.

If you have any questions about how effective a good side can be, just ask two betches who have made careers not doing work and posing on their good side –Tori Spelling or Giuliana Rancic. They are both notorious one-siders and their commitment is both vain and inspiring.


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