If you grew up with a mom who was lazy AF, you might be very familiar with Hamburger Helper. These easy boxed dinners were a staple in the 80s and 90s, but they fell out of favor in more recent times. Well, General Mills relaunched the brand a few years ago, and they’re clearly a little desperate. On April Fools Day, the Hamburger Helper glove, who is apparently named Lefty, dropped a mixtape of his own. It’s called Watch the Stove, proving, among other things, the people at General Mills have way too much time on their hands.
We listened to it so you don’t have to, but it’s actually not that bad. It pretty much sounds exactly like Future or 2 Chainz, which probably says something about the quality of hip hop music these days, but that’s another issue. Also, the cover art legit looks like the cover to iLoveMakonnen’s next mixtape.
Anyway, here are some of our favorite lines from the five bangers:
Feed The Streets:
“I want tacos enchiladas / I want pasta and lasagna /
Boy I got too many flavors / You might have thought it was catered”
“Swervin swervin switchin lanes / Hamburger on my brain / If I’m old I use a cane”
“I’m thinking about the hand / The meats is on the pan /
I know when I’m in the jam / I know that burger gon’ go HAM”
Food For Your Soul:
This one was slow and all about family and made us feel uncomfortable.
In Love with the Glove:
“I don’t want no beef unless it’s bout this cheese”