A Review Of Halo Top, The Miracle Ice Cream That’s 240 Calories Per Pint

If we told you that you could eat an ENTIRE pint of ice cream without literally hating yourself every second of every day for the next week, what would you do? YOU’D DEMAND ANSWERS.

When we saw and heard this claim about Halo Top, an ice cream that boasts only 240 calories FOR THE WHOLE FUCKING PINT, we had to investigate.

For those who are unaware, a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia—one of their most popular flavors—will run you 260 calories FOR HALF OF A FUCKING CUP. THAT’S ½ CUP IN RECIPE TERMS. Oh, so how much for the whole pint? That’s a big ol’ 1040. Yeah.

Alright, but like, ice cream that’s only 60 calories per ½ cup can’t possibly taste good right? We were pleasantly surprised.The results:

Vanilla Bean

When you can see the real vanilla bean flecks, you know this shit is gonna be good. It was basic, but the flavor was all there—maybe not as creamy in texture as Breyer’s all natural shit or Haagen Daz, but if you’re looking for healthy fucking ice cream, you have to cut the happiness somewhere.


If you dig dark chocolate with all its awesome, bitter semisweet components, you’ll probably not be a huge fan of this. It’s sugary and milk chocolately. Given, it has like 24 grams of protein for the whole pint, so I guess you could say it’s healthy. Honestly, this one was pretty true to basic ice cream flavor.

Mint Chip

I call this one mouthwash surprise. Alright, like it wasn’t BAD, but it was mintier than you’re probs used to. The best part was the real chocolate mixed in. I KNOW RIGHT. Honestly, I did eat the whole pint of this so it clearly wasn’t that fucking bad.

Lemon Cake

SUPER CITRUS SURPRISE. Honestly though, this had the depth of a sherbert or sorbet for the lemon flavor, but was still super creamy. Recommended for mixing into wine on a hot summer day. I did. It was awesome, and I felt borderline classy.

Get your protein, your ice cream fix, and don’t ruin your fucking diet. I didn’t try the other fucking flavors because I’m on a wedding diet and need to look like Kate Moss during her cocaine days BYE.



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