Because Halloween is coming up I’m sure most of you are already planning the ways in which you can dress like an ordinary hooker. On the other hand, some of you would rather not have your outer appearance (slutty) reflect your inner appearance (also slutty). That’s fine, but if you fall into this latter category you still need to like, make an effort. I mean, it’s Halloween after all. This is just like the rules of feminism.
Anyway, if you choose to do something creative with your face instead of show up to the party in pasties and glitter — and glittered pasties — let the following guide on what’s OK and what’s so NOT OK help you.
OK: Animal Makeup
Most if it’s pretty cute and can accentuate your good features/hide your not so good ones, so I’d say this tops the list on best makeup looks. Favorites include: Mouse (duh), Tiger, Lion, and Deer.
NOT OK: Cecil the Lion (See Ashley Benson Below)
OK: Disney Makeup
Obviously the chicest options include the villains (i.e. Maleficent because she’s really pretty, or Cruella De Ville if only for her fabulous fur coats.)
NOT OK: Anyone from the cast of Frozen.
I’m so over you and I haven’t even met you yet.
OK: Vintage Makeup
If you want to throw on some retro makeup and call yourself a “pin up girl” or Marilyn Monroe, that’s sort of a cop out, but also fine if you’re just really unoriginal (no offense).
NOT OK: Lichtenstein comic book makeup because those polka dots look like zit cream, be honest with yourself.
OK: Skeleton Makeup
Badass. Intimidating. Enough said.
NOT OK: Anything that’s actually scary. Don’t be weird.
OK: Vampire Makeup
Reasons include: getting to scowl all night, refusing to eat human food, wearing fake/sharp teeth, etc. etc.