4 Halloween Costume Ideas That Don’t Suck

There’s a lot of dumb shit you can be for Halloween. If you choose to go as something that doesn’t involve lingerie and some type of animal ears, you’re setting yourself up for an uphill battle of finding something 1) clever 2) cute 3) fuckable.

We all know what you wear doesn’t really matter as long as you’re not wearing much of it. And for dudes, it practically only matters if you’re ugly. Then, you’re going to want a mask.

Still, all costumes are not created equal. Maybe consider one of these ideas that I’m not totally mad at.

Another Holiday

My friend’s college house went as Christmas and then Thanksgiving two consecutive years for Halloween. They made t-shirt dresses (a college Halloween staple) and each person dressed as sexy Christmas shit i.e. the tree, a snowman, a candy cane, a gingerbread girl. The next year, they were sexy pilgrims and turkeys. It works because it’s a hilarious combination of holidays and they looked fucking hot. Who doesn’t want to go home with the sexy Christmas tree?

Cecil the Lion and a Dentist

Everyone has already been that stupid fucking deer and hunter combo with their boyfriend. Up your game. I know trying to be funny with your Halloween costume can backfire, but I think this one might be offensive enough to work. Plus, people love pop culture references.

Someone From TV

Like I said, people love pop culture references. Sure it would be easy to be a politician, but it’s boring and not sexy.  Therefore, go with something from a super popular TV show. You lose points if you just wear a suit and say you’re from Scandal or House of Cards or some shit. If your boyfriend is a lazy ass, tell him to start growing his beard for an epic Duck Dynasty theme. Orange is the New Black is also relevant, just skip the blackface. Remember what happened when Julianne Hough tried it? Ack.

Pizza Rat

This combines two of my favorite things: an easy costume involving animal ears and a chance to eat pizza. 


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