Hair Contouring Is Now A Thing And Can We Just Stop?

People are now contouring their hair. You read that right. Contouring. Their. Hair.

I guess it's supposed to be the “next balayage” which used to be the “next highlights” which used to be the “next I don't fucking care.” Enough with the name calling. Enough with the labels. It's civil rights, this is the 90's.

Remember when betches could just go to the salon and be like “make me pretty plz, I DGAF what you do”, instead of asking for a million different specific things that don't even make sense? If you request that someone “contours” your hair, and your stylist subsequently doesn't roll her eyes for a solid 20 minutes, you need to GTFO. You think Kate Moss and/or all the VS models told someone to contour their hair? NO. It's not a real thing.

Tbh this “you get a contour!” and “you get a contour!” thing is just getting out of fucking hand, Oprah. You can contour your face, your vagina (not kidding, wish I was), your dog, your iPhone, your boyfriend's dick. WHEN WILL IT BE ENOUGH?

The idea of creating a haircut/color moment that makes your face look better is, like, not revolutionary at all. Any borderline decent hair stylist knows this. So people, please stop unnecessarily naming things with hot button words. K?


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