Gwyneth Paltrow And Goop Are Consciously Uncoupling

Back in the day, Gwyneth Paltrow was just a ballerina-looking actress who knew how to rock the shit out of a red carpet. Then she started her lifestyle newsletter with the world’s worst advice, called it Goop and immediately became the planet’s most annoying health freak. First of all, were there any other names besides Goop available? Cuz that blows. Second, couldn’t she have created a magazine or like, written a blog or something? Who tf reads newsletters? Whatever. Doesn’t matter because either way Gwyn has decided to step aside from Goop after eight years of running shit.

Bethenny Frankel Cringe

It’s not exactly a secret that most people fucking hate Gwyn. I mean, she’s gotta be in a three-way tie with TSwift and Anne Hathaway for the most disliked celebs of all time. Congrats, guys. Ya did it! Turns out, when people don’t like the face of a brand, that brand doesn’t do well. I was a business major in college so I know. But you can’t tell people to eat water-soaked almonds for a snack and suggest vaginal steaming and compare mean tweets to literal warfare without people thinking you’re a BSCB. Fucking duh.

Stassi Schroeder you are mental

Look… She’s not totally out or anything. It’s kinda like that conscious uncoupling bullshit her and Chris Martin did for a minute. Tbh, idk if it’s gonna make a whole hell of a lot of difference. If I got some newsletter that told me that bee stinging therapy would make me more beautiful, I’d light it on fire with or without Gwyn’s face on it. But good luck I guess. At the very least, maybe people will hate her less.

Lauren Conrad Fingers Crossed


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