Gin: Too Hipster for a Betch?

The betch’s alcohol selection is varied and interesting – much like her. Favorites include vodka, tequila and the occasional rum (for tropical shit). However, when it comes to gin, the betch can become confused based on the hipster notoriety given to the spirit. I mean, there are entire gin bars dedicated to different types of gin. This kind of sounds like bullshit, so let’s explore the world of gin.

History: So, gin actually was created during the Middle Ages and was used for medicinal purposes. It’s flavored primarily by juniper berries and became super fucking popular once William of Orange was like, in charge of England and decided he loved this shit. It was originally developed from the older genever – a Dutch spirit. 

Types: There are also four categories of gin: Juniper-flavored spirit drinks; gin; distilled gin; and London gin. Any hipster probably knows the extremely subtle differences between these four, but naming them here should be sufficient for the average betch.

Gin Cocktails: The best known gin cocktail is obviously the gin martini. Just a note – if you tell a bartender to make you a fucking martini, he/she is going to reach for gin first. If you simply must have vodka, you need to fucking specify. The second most known gin cocktail is obviously the gin and tonic. Note to betches: although this may seem like a vodka soda, the calories are fucking high and so is the sodium. So like, unless you’re trying to impress country club bros or Don Draper, maybe stick with your fucking vodka soda.

The verdict: We assess that gin is only too hipster when imbibed in the following circumstances:

  • When consumed with hipsters or possible hipsters
  • When consumed in a gin bar or other bar with an unnaturally large selection of gin
  • When consumed in a bar focusing on farm-to-table craft sustainable cocktails run by a man with a handlebar mustache
  • Any and all combinations of these three

Stay thirsty and also probably just stick with vodka.


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