Nothing Says “Success” Like This Floating Piece Of Shit For Your Pool

This is what dreams are made of: you can now buy a giant poop emoji pool float. There is a god. Honestly, nothing screams “beach season” like a giant floating piece of shit. And nothing screams “success” like owning a giant floating piece of shit pool float.

But really, kudos to the brilliant minds at Thrice for producing this masterpiece. They’ve developed an entire line of pool floats designed to profit from narcissistic and emoji-obsessed millenials. Brilliant.

You can also purchase a “giant eggplant rider emoji pool float.” And yes, it does look like a floating version of the emoji that everyone uses to insinuate a penis. Bet you tons of bros can’t wait to watch you ride that eggplant.

This emoji float collection is what we’ve always wanted but never knew we needed. Now go turn up your pool party from 0 to 100 real quick.



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