My bf and I have been dating for almost two years now and it’s been amazing, his family is loaded and have this amazing house I stay at often, (20 and not in college with a career) and he’s a really great guy… Except for the gambling issue. He’s an addict. Like it’s a serious “losing 40% per week of income” addiction. And he lies about it. I said I was leaving if he did it again, only to find a month later on my phone, a gambling site open and a record of history pre-dating my ultimatum (ugh I hate that word). I love him his so much, and it’s right on Christmas but I don’t know what to do anymore, please help!
Betrayed by money betch.
Dear Betch Better Have My Money,
Ill-advised joke aside…yeaaaahhh, every so often I get a question that really should be directed towards a professional and not just like, some random betch on the internet. This is definitely one of those times. But what the hell, it’s not like what I’m about to say has any serious, potentially life-changing consequences on anyone’s life, right? Right. Okay.
Here’s what I would do: I’d gather up all the evidence you have of your boyfriend’s addiction, and present it to his parents and tell them how serious his problem is, and how concerned you are. Hopefully they’ll be totally blind-sided by this news and you will all work together and come to an appropriate solution, like to stage an intervention and sing cumbaya afterwards. In all seriousness, I would actually involve his parents because, I need an adult. If his parents already know about his addiction and don’t care (or are in denial), you need to sit down with your boyfriend, tell him how worried you are about him, and tell him that he needs to take tangible steps toward getting help or you will walk. And then, you need to follow through. It might sound cold, but making empty threats will only encourage your bf to gamble his finances and act shady about it, and tbh at the end of the day you need to take care of yourself. His family might be loaded, but if he’s losing 40% of his weekly income (!!!!), they won’t be able to bail him out forever. Alternatively, you could tell him that there’s a new online game sweeping the nation, and it’s called depositing money into my bank account. Sorry, couldn’t help it. But def the worst thing you could do (for him and for you) is stand by and enable his addiction, so keep that in mind.
Good luck (no pun intended, I swear),
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