Cheap Fuckboy Invoices Girl For Drink He Bought Her At Bar

Ladies, have you ever been at a bar and a guy offers to buy you a drink? Of course you have. We’ve also all met at least one fuckboy who felt like, because he bought you a drink, you owed him something. Usually that “something” is your time, a conversation, your number, or open access to your pants, but one douchebag has taken it to a whole new—and very literal—level. Some dude in England bought a girl a drink one night, and then later, he invoiced her the cost of the drink. That’s right. Apparently, if you have the audacity to let a man buy you a drink and don’t fuck him afterwards, you are entitled to pay him back the $8 or whatever he spent on that drink. Ah, I can’t wait to see what other kinds of ridiculous bullshit the Men’s Rights Activists come up with next!

Honestly I’m really looking forward to the cries of “misandry!” and “double standards!” in the comments section. Bring it the fuck on, folks. Here’s the deal: If you buy a girl a drink—or if a girl buys a guy a drink #feminism—that is not a binding contract for her to do whatever the fuck you want. It’s pretty ridiculous that I would even need to put that sentiment into writing in the year 2016—and yes, I did just check my calendar to make sure I didn’t accidentally create a hole in the space-time continuum and find myself back in 1953. Were women even allowed to go to bars on their own back then? Regardless, this is fucking insane. I think if you’re old enough to go to a bar, you’re old enough to understand that when you offer to buy a stranger a drink, it’s generally understood that you’re purchasing it on your own dime and don’t expect compensation for it.

Also, continuing with the trend of “things that shouldn’t need to be said,” if you’re really that broke that the price of one drink is going to put you out, here’s an idea: don’t fucking go out. Or, don’t offer to buy a girl a drink. This is not exactly rocket science. But I am really curious to know: if Abby had fucked Liam, would we even be here? Would he still be seeking his 6.50 pounds, or would he consider the debt paid? Also, how fucking broke are you that you’re willing to risk embarrassing yourself over $8.66 (yeah, I looked it up) from a few weeks ago?? Like, maybe it would be one thing if this had happened right away, but did this guy really sit on this for multiple weeks and then decide he really needed that $8 and change? I just have so many questions.

So today I raise a glass to you, Liam Vipers (if that is your real name, which I’m guessing it isn’t). Abby sure didn’t want to fuck you, and now no woman ever will.

you played yourself


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