Your Frat Bro Boyfriend Will Always Be An Alcoholic, Science Finds

If you thought you could turn your frat bro boyfriend into the perfect former frat bro husband, you’re wrong. In fact, science is telling us homeboy will probably always be the obnoxious drunk he is today.

A study from the Miriam Hospital and the Brown University Center for Alcohol and Addiction Studies found that interventions targeting fraternity or sorority members at colleges around the country were unsuccessful in reducing alcohol consumption and related problems.

What that super long boring sentence is saying is, pretty much, the normal ways you get someone to cut back: an intervention, alcohol education, or teaching them to drink some fucking water between drinks just doesn’t work on these bros.

No matter what you do, these guys just can’t stop drinking. File this under reason #4593 to not marry into a fraternity.

Before you get your panties in a wad, I get that the study is a comment on the behavior of fraternities as a whole and not individual members, but do you really want to take a risk by locking it down with a Sigma Chi who threw up on you at winter formal? I don’t think so.

The study looked at some sororities too, but the data from those studies was too small to be generalizable. Sorry not sorry.


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