6 Fragrances That Will Chill You The Fuck Out

There’s nothing more stressful than pretending to be productive and/or nice to people all day (i.e. life). Thankfully—besides smoking an unnerving amount of weed—there are things you can do to alleviate said stress. For instance, trying different fragrances. According to aromatherapy (i.e. hippies) certain smells can really chill you the fuck out—though I can’t make any promises because you seem pretty tightly wound. Anyway. Here are some fragrances that will make you feel less likely to check yourself into a mental hospital. Namaste, idiots. 

1. Jasmin Rouge, Tom Ford ($220)

So yeah, it’s expensive as fuck, but jasmine—known as “nature’s valium”—will bring you enough calmness and clarity to turn your 3 times a week therapy visits into just 1 weekly therapy visit (plus probably a phone call if we’re being honest here, but still).

2. Eau de Lavande, Dyptique ($98)

Lavender might not be the sexiest scent in the world (thanks grandma), but neither is the panic attack you’re having in the bathroom stall at Starbucks.

3. Nirvana Black, Elizabeth and James ($60)

This one (it’s called ‘Nirvana’ for fuck’s sake so you know it’s chill inducing) has notes of sandalwood, which have been proven to help with anxiety.

4. Bergamote 22, Le Labo ($175)

Bergamot supposedly reduces cortisol (the bullshit hormone that makes you fat and anxious). Sorry, just passed out at the thought of becoming both fat and anxious. I’m back now.

5. Rasa Balancing Oil, Yoke ($28)

This balancing oil sounds like bullshit, but the orange, sandalwood, and patchouli are calming.

6. Ylang 49, Le Labo $140

It pains me to type out the words “ylang ylang” because wow what a gross sequence of letters strung together, but I’m pretty sure that only furthers the point that I/you/we need it in our lives. 


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