For The Lazy Betch: Overnight Oats

The only reason a betch is waking up earlier than absolutely necessary for work is to a) apply mascara so she doesn’t look dead and b) coffee. So when our stomachs start to revolt around 10 am because we may or may not have forgotten to eat anything but a cube of cheese the night before AND we had only coffee for breakfast, a betch can find herself in an especially hangry mood.

Luckily, there’s an answer that is not a power bar you found in the back of your desk drawer. Overnight oats, like Hansel, are so hot right now and they require literally like, zero effort; perfect for betches who hate doing work.


  • 1/3 cup rolled or old-fashioned oats
  • 1/3 cup milk, almond milk, or soy milk
  • 1/3 cup Greek plain yogurt
  • 1 tbsp honey
  • 1 tsp vanilla OR 1 tsp cocoa powder (choose your fav OR add both because you do what you want)
  • Pinch of cinnamon (optional)

Literally, mix all of the above together in a bowl. Either cover or don’t – it doesn’t fucking matter – and place in fridge over night.

The next morning, you will have an oatmeal-y dish. You can eat hot or warmed. Also, you can top with things like fruit, cookie butter, Nutella, seeds, nuts, what the fuck ever. Like, maybe add some canned pumpkin and walnuts. Or like, mash up a banana and use the cocoa powder and like then add peanut butter and omg it's like eating Ben & Jerry's cept not.

You can’t screw this up and it’s good for you. I SEE YOU THERE, BIKINI BODY.


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