For The Artisanal Betch: Homemade Cheese

Have you ever been on one of those juice cleanses or health binges and thought, “Down with corporations! I can make my own juice/makeup/cheese/etc. I am woman!” Hopefully you haven’t used those words, but you get the idea.

So, if you’ve ever been interested in making your own cheese, we’re here to tell you it isn’t fucking difficult. I mean, don’t act like you don’t cave in the cheese section of the grocery store and buy two or three different kinds regardless of price because like, you need it and it’s all you’re going to eat this week anyway.

Given, this isn’t like, dry aged Gouda from France; this is some basic cream cheese that you can spread on crackers or toast OR melt on whatever you want.

– ½ gallon whole milk
– 2 tsps salt
– ¼ white distilled vinegar
– Special equipment: cheese cloth

In a large saucepan, bring milk and salt very slowly to a boil over medium high heat – stirring to prevent the milk from scalding on the bottom. Once the mixture is boiling, remove from the heat and stir in the vinegar. Leave the mixture to cool – about 10 minutes – then pour the mixture into a cheesecloth over a bowl or colander and allow to drip (I usually tie mine around the sink so it drips into a bowl) for 6-8 hrs.

This will store for about a week or two and you can mix in herbs, salt, pepper, whatever. You can use it either spread on toast, as a filling for pierogies, or as a ricotta substitute in pasta. You’re ready to probably make everything from scratch now.


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