Traveling is the fucking worst. Unless you have a private plane. In that case it’s probably fun, and you probably drink champagne, and hang out with Drake, and have no problems. But if you’re not Ravie Loso, Nikki Minaj, or Ashley Kerwin then, yeah, sorry, but traveling is still the fucking worst.
^^^Fuck you Ashley Kerwin.
OR maybe this highly researched theory of yours about private planes and Drake is why you tried to purchase one (a private plane, not Drake lol) using your dad’s black card last holiday season, but he wouldn’t let you, then dismissed your behavior as “ridiculous” and “high maintenance” so you changed his first class ticket to coach and he hasn’t spoken to you since. Maybe.
^^^Fuck you dad.
One thing that makes traveling so annoying — besides having to speak to people — is when you get off the plane looking like raisin man for those terrifying ’80s commercials. So here’s a necessary in flight beauty routine to help make sure you don’t land in the Caribbean this holiday looking like shit.
The dry air within the plane, the cabin pressure, and the low oxygen levels all mean one thing: Your skin’s about to get real dry. Not cute. You NEED and I mean NEED to be drinking water. A lot of it.
I’m so sorry for what I’m about to tell you and I totally understand if you disregard it and get mad/call me a liar/pretend you don’t have a problem, but…if you want to land looking pretty and fresh, skip the alcohol. I KNOW I KNOW, OK moving on. That information is yours now. What you choose to do with it is not up to me.
2. Increase Circulation
Get up for a walk. Flirt with the probably gay, but cute flight attendant. Try to talk to the pilot. Visit coach and laugh at everyone’s lack of leg space. Then sit down and rub some pure rosehip oil (like this one from Acure) on your face and limbs because it’s known to increase circulation.
This is such a given. Throughout the flight you should be spritzing rosewater on your face. One, because it makes your area smell like a spa, and two because it gets moisture into your skin immediately. Follow it up with a moisturizing sheet mask like the SK-II Facial Treatment Mask if you’re OK with looking slightly insane/alarming. Then put on a heavy duty moisturizer like Vichy Aqualia Thermal (rumored to be used by supermodel betch Naomi Campbell during flight).
That’s it. Bon voyage or something! Whatever.