Prepare yourself, because you’re about to feel old: Eminem’s daughter is 21 years old, and she’s fucking beautiful. Her name is Hailie Mathers, which you might know because he’s said her name in a like, a million songs. Well, against all odds she made it to adulthood without a high-profile arrest/DUI/drug addiction (that we know of), and she’s looking annoyingly good these days. She’s an inspiration for crack babies everywhere. Hailie kind of looks like a cross between a Russian Chloe Grace Moretz and a life-size nose job, but that’s just the first thing that came to mind. Like, she’s probably a New York 8 but definitely a Detroit 10 which is what matters for her.
Hailie just made an Instagram like six months ago, so I guess the royalties from “Hailie’s Song” have finally dried up. Her favorite beauty trends are definitely overdrawn brows, matte lipstick, and using a filter that makes everything look just a little bit airbrushed—groundbreaking. Essentially, she looks like every girl in a top-tier sorority and if her dad wasn’t famous, we’d have no way of differentiating her from any other model hot girl with an Instagram. Speaking of, there aren’t any pictures of her with Eminem, probably because it’s embarrassing to have a dad who still bleaches his hair at 44.
wow, this is hallie jade mathers now? pic.twitter.com/M29Y75rbaF
— ange cassé noir. (@rebelliouskoala) March 23, 2017
For someone whose dad is as nuts as Eminem, Hailie actually seems pretty normal. She’s a junior at Michigan State, which not the same as University of Michigan, where all your camp friends go (so no, she probably doesn’t know any of them). She graduated from high school with honors back in 2014, and she was Homecoming Queen, probably because everyone was afraid her dad would push them in front of a bus pistol whip them and then rap about it if they didn’t vote for her. Basically, Hailie is winning at life. Ugh, it all makes us wish our dads had written a song about killing our mom and putting her in the trunk of his car too.
It’s unclear what Hailie’s life goals are, but we see a bright future of Instagram modeling and peddling Sugar Bear Hair vitamins ahead of her, should she so choose. We could also see her having moderate success an actress, aka living in LA and appearing on some third-tier reality show. Judging by her Instagram, she also has a boyfriend who’s pretty hot, but it’s highly questionable whether that will last. We really hope he’s a nice guy, because Eminem seems like the kind of dude who would carry a gun the first time he met his daughter’s boyfriend, no?