Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because we had 20 years of fantasizing about marrying Prince Harry. If somebody had to take him off the market, at least we can have some pride that it was an American. If the American Girl Doll franchise doesn’t immediately release a special edition doll, their CEO is wasting a golden opportunity. But before you start a pity party at happy hour that you’re no longer in the running to become Mrs. Prince Harry (that will be her official title, right?), read through the list of still royally eligible bachelors. You can snag a better title than the Duchess of Sussex.
Prince Sébastien of Luxembourg
Happy 24th birthday to Prince Sebastian of Luxembourg! Prince Sebastian is currently fifth in the line of succession pic.twitter.com/ibBK935lRD
— The Crown Chronicles (@crownchronicles) April 16, 2016
How Many People Need to Die Before He’s King: 7
Education: Franciscan University – International Business and Marketing and Royal Military Academy Sandhurst
Career: Officer Cadet in Luxembourg Army
Highlights: Sebastian went to college in Ohio and played rugby, so he’s bringing beer pong to the palace.
Felipe Juan Froilán de Marichalar y Borbón of Spain
— Táh 😉 (@Tammiiih) October 5, 2017
How Many People Need to Die Before He’s King: 5
Education: The College for International Studies – Business
Career: Being a professional asshole
Highlights: He is the Chuck Bass of European Royalty—he gave an official speech about Dr. Pepper, shot himself in the foot when he was 13, was expelled from multiple high schools for not taking his finals, was exiled to the US to finish high school, and his nickname is Pipe. So if you’re really into fixing “bad boys” (please see a therapist), then he’s the one for you.
Prince Joseph of Liechtenstein
prince Joseph wenzel of Liechtenstein, mama’s comin for u pic.twitter.com/3Bcw5gKnNh
— samantha (@badgalsammie) July 22, 2013
How Many People Need to Die Before He’s King: 2
Education: Royal Military Academy Sandhurst
Career: Intern at the US Senate
Highlights: He took a gap year to backpack through South America, his favorite hobby is skiing, and he wants to get an MBA—so his real title is Prince Finance Bro.
Louis Ducruet of Monaco
— GALA.fr (@GALAfr) November 8, 2017
How Many People Need to Die Before He’s King: 13
Education: Western Carolina University – Sports Management
Career: Scout for Association Sportive de Monaco Football Club (you can find him on LinkedIn)
Highlights: He’s the love child of his royal mother and her body guard, so he’s definitely got some daddy issues going on. But the deal breaker: He has no official title, so you wouldn’t be a Princess.
Hussein, Crown Prince of Jordan
— Dana Zureikat Daoud (@DanaZkat) September 20, 2017
How Many People Need to Die Before He’s King: 1
Education: Georgetown – International History and Royal Military Academy Sandhurst
Career: Second Lieutenant in the Jordanian Armed Forces, Director of Crown Prince Foundation
Highlights: He’s the youngest person to ever chair a UN Security Council meeting and takes the royalty thing super seriously. Chasing after him would mean a lot more than wearing jewelry well and going to charity galas, but you’d also be Queen of Jordan one day, so it seems like a decent trade-off. He has 1.1 million Instagram followers, so your engagement photos would get a shit ton of likes.