Betchocracy 2016: Two Can Tango

Primary season is almost over!! California votes next Tuesday, which is basically the only state left that anyone gives a shit about. Bernie and Hillary are in a tighter race than expected, but realistically Hillary will still get the nomination even if Bernie beats her there. Sorry, everyone who bought a Bernie T-shirt, your fever dream is coming to an end.

Mean Girl

Hillary Clinton has been increasingly focusing her attention on Donald Trump ahead of a tough general election fight, and this week she gave a lengthy speech solely focused on how awful Trump is. She said electing him would be a “historic mistake,” and that his foreign policy is “dangerously incoherent.” Here’s our absolute favorite line from the speech:

“He says he has foreign policy experience because he ran the Miss Universe pageant in Russia. The stakes in global statecraft are infinitely higher and more complex than in the world of luxury hotels.”

Boom. Roasted.


Most Bernie Sanders supporters would probably say their candidate is too good for blatant pandering, but Bernie proved them wrong on Monday when he showed up to watch the Golden State Warriors win Game 7 and move on to the NBA finals. He then wrote a nice little tweet about how he wanted to make a comeback just like the Dubs. Bernie, you’re a 74-year-old Jewish man from Vermont, don’t try to tell us you give a shit about the NBA.

Deb8er Boi

A couple weeks back, big political waves were made when it was announced that Trump and Sanders were going to debate each other ahead of the California primary. People on both sides of the aisle were immediately scratching their heads, because it’s like, literally not a thing for the Republican nominee to debate the second-place Democrat, especially before the primaries are even over. Trump apparently realized this, because he backed out of the debate and basically said he never liked the idea. Sorry Bernie, no more debates for you.


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