Betchocracy 2016: No End In Sight

This week, we finally got a much-needed break from pointless debates. However, there was still plenty happening on the campaign trail, and we would hate for you to fall behind. Listen up fives, a ten is speaking.

The Hill Gets Steeper

This Tuesday was a big primary day, with five states voting in each party. This included big delegate prizes Illinois and Florida, so it was an important one. On the Democrat side, Hillary had about the best night possible, winning all five states. A lot of people had been hoping for a Bernie win in Ohio after his surprise Michigan victory, but the betch pulled through.

Stop Trying To Make Marco Happen

After losing his home state of Florida to Trump, Marco Rubio finally pulled the plug on his disappointing campaign. Marco was briefly seen as a real alternative to Trump, until the sad realization that no one was fucking voting for him. Hey Marco, you’re still young, maybe next time.

I Republican’t Even

With Rubio out, the Republican race gets both more and less complicated. Sure, now there are only three names to choose from, but now the main question is whether anyone can win enough delegates to secure the nomination. The Republican party is hoping not, so they can pick whoever they want at the convention. Stay tuned as more states vote, because this could get interesting.

The New Supreme

This week, President Obama nominated Merrick Garland to the Supreme Court. By all accounts, pretty much everyone in Washington likes Garland, but the Republicans in the Senate couldn’t give two shits. They’re saying they won’t take any action until after the election, but tbh what have they been getting done up until now? The interesting part is that this court battle could really affect the election in November, because it means the difference between a liberal- or conservative-leaning court. Now might be a good time to plan your abortion, because they might not be legal for long. 


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