Betchocracy 2016: So We’re Still Doing This?


We’re 52 days away from the election, and the polls have gotten much closer than they were a few weeks ago. Hillary has had some scandal issues, and Donald Trump has been royally fucking up less than he did in August. The debates start soon, and then we’ll really be in the home stretch.

The Cough Heard Round The World

black lung

When attending the 9/11 Memorial earlier this week, Hillary looked a little out of sorts, and had to be helped to her car by security. The media flipped the fuck out, but then we found out that she just has mild pneumonia. Most of our medical knowledge comes from Grey’s Anatomy, but we’re pretty sure pneumonia just makes you tired for a while, so like, story of our fucking lives. Her doctor released a letter saying she’s in pretty good health, but Trump isn’t likely to let this go.

Basket Cases

hillary clinton shrug

Last week, Hillary stirred up controversy when she said that half of Trump’s supporters could be put in a “basket of deplorables,” aka racists, sexists, and old white guys with shitty hairpieces. She’s honestly not wrong, but a lot of people felt like it wasn’t a great thing for her to say. At this point, Hillary is basically saying “fuck it, if I might not win at least I’ll go balls to the wall.” We like it.

Mike Pence Still Exists

Why are you still here

We’ve pretty much forgotten about both vice presidential candidates, but Mike Pence caused some problems this week when he refused to call David Duke (former KKK leader) deplorable. David Duke’s support has repeatedly been an issue for the Trump campaign, and this fuckup won’t make that go away any sooner. For the love of God, Mike, use that tiny brain.

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