Ed Westwick Is Officially Canceled Forever

I’ve been having a lot of dreams about the apocalypse lately, and while I’ve spent all morning on dreammoods.com I would never put my faith in something so shaky as “dream science,” it’s hard not to feel a connection between my less-than-restful sleep and the daily barrage of cataclysmically awful news. For example, today I woke up to a text with a link to this article detailing the rape allegations against Ed Westwick (aka Chuck Bass).

The story comes to us courtesy of actress Kristina Cohen’s Facebook status, in which she paints a vivid and horrifying picture of an alleged evening spent at Ed Westwick’s house and waking up to Westwick holding her down and raping her. And in case we had any remaining doubts that Gossip Girl producers didn’t so much find “someone good at acting” as literal Chuck Bass, Cohen’s story includes an alleged early evening remark by Westwick of “we should all fuck,” leading me to believe they did not, in fact, even write lines for Westwick’s character, but rather, they just threw him on set and fired up a camera.

Unfortunately, despite the fact that Chuck Bass literally opens Gossip Girl by raping a 14-year-old in the pilot, he became a romantic lead with a throng of adoring female fans, myself very much included. So while I’m going to need to process this with a long cry and 14 shots of vodka, my experience obviously means nothing next to the unimaginable amount of pain Cohen has endured, both surviving this alleged attack and watching public adoration for Westwick continue. So, let’s do our part and agree right now that Chuck Bass is motherfucking canceled. No more memes, no more fan blogs, no more 8-letters-3-words-I’m-yours. Congratulations, men of the world: thanks to you, basically everything we’ve ever touched/loved is tainted with your inability to not be rapists.

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