According to This Dumb Ass Blogger, Semen Facials Are Good For Your Skin

There’s a folk story circling the internet that suggests semen “facials” are good for your skin, and I’m over here like, since when do men ejaculate La Mer? What.

According to this dumb ass blogger, semen facials not only saved her marriage from being sooo lackluster, but they got rid of her rosacea, pores, wrinkles, and made her nose, like, way thinner! Kidding on most of that. She’s basically saying that putting semen on her face was like a miracle for her skin. Here’s the video to prove said idiocy: 

While I have no qualms about whether or not you’re into having semen on your face, your body, in your eye, if you use it as fucking mouthwash, take a bubble bath in it, etc, IDGAF, you get the picture. But let’s just get one thing clear. This just isn’t true. I know because 1) Science says so (more on that in a sec) and 2) If it were true, 99% of my friends would look like Gigi Hadid.

So basically, science says “Uhm…FALSE.” Semen is alkaline and when you put that shit on skin — which is acidic — your skin’s barrier is negatively affected, causing a decrease in your collagen and elasticity. In other words, not cute, may age you, and when used regularly and in large amounts, actually not great for your skin. Plus, there’s the fact that it’s still theoretically possible to catch an STD on your face. IDK about you, but I’m not trying to get gonorrhea of the eye or whatever, like Emma from Degrassi. 

Like, using natural skin shit is OKAAYY (not preferred), but if you really want to be “of the earth” and “chemical free” (as in, cheap as hell), pick up some goddamn coconut oil. That shit pretty much cures everything, including cancer. I think. IDK, Google it. 




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