Forget the socialists that tell you money doesn’t buy you happiness because according to the Times recent and very important investigation, money buys you a $25,000 diamond manicure, and if that’s something that wouldn’t make you happy then just like shoot me now.
^literally said no one ever
No surprise here, but the manicure can only be given by some nail salon in Orange County. According to the Times, customers are given a bevy of diamonds to choose from while they sip champagne and get prepped for application. It’s basically like your manicurist is Neil Diamond and you’re the Bachelor and you have to choose a nice ring for the potential ex-fiance that you barely know, except this time you don’t get to be on the cover of US Weekly afterward.
The best part about this ridiculous nail experience is that it’s hella exclusive. Meaning that you can probably only afford this mani if your dad is totally rich because he invented Toaster Strudel or is a rapper or something.
It’s just too bad manicures aren’t forever though because if you want to keep this up then you have to keep going back to the nail salon and we all know how much that generally sucks. So although this diamond mani would make me pretty fucking happy (read: let everyone know I’m better than them because my nails are worth more than their car), I’ll just take the ring for now (I’m a size XXS, obviously). Thanks Neil.