Dear Betch: How Do I Turn My Fuck Buddy Into Something More?

Dear Betch,

How do you turn a “fuck buddy” into something more? I know it usually doesn't work out, but i think our situation is a little different..but maybe not. We've been hooking up (mainly in the summers) for a year now, and it seems more than that sometimes. We only text or talk when we want to have sex, but we have deep conversations sometimes. I can tell him all my problems, but maybe that's because I feel like he's not going to judge me or tell anyone. I'm the kind of girl who doesn't allow a guy to disrespect me or use me, but for him i throw my morals away and idk why. He doesn't always treat me how i deserve to be treated and he doesn't have the best personality but it we have a connection..I don't even know I need advice

Dear Delusional,

The short answer is: you don’t. I meannnnn you could tryyy asking him to go do something non-sexual like grab food with you but I have a feeling he’d respond in a “…but why” kind of manner. If you’d wanted more than a fuck buddy the time to steer things in that direction would’ve been before you arrived at your destination of Booty Call Land, population: you.  In other words, if you want a guy to cuff you up, you don’t fuck him before he commits. Cheer up though because this bro doesn’t exactly sound like your Ted Mosby anyway. “He doesn’t always treat me how I deserve and he doesn’t have the best personality” …okay, why exactly do you like this guy again? Also, “For him I throw my morals away”? Like what, is he having you drive the getaway car while he robs banks? WTF is going on here?

I have a feeling you’re just letting the oxytocin get to your head and confusing post-sex bliss for feelings. Like just because a guy is good in bed doesn’t automatically mean you should date him. I have a sneaking suspicion that if you remove the sex out of the equation your “feelings” for him will “magically” disappear.

Everybody always thinks their situation is “different” but it never is,

The Betches


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