My #52 Gay BFF has a new theory and I’m interested in your take on it. He believe that in each relationship, there is one person who settled and one who is with someone who is (at least slightly) out of their league. Now for relating this back to me (because at the end of the day, thats what I’m truly interested in). He has accused me of being the settler in every relationship that I have ever been in, because I don’t necessarily go for extremely good looking guys. I believe I just have other priorities and that appearance has never been the biggest thing for me. So my question – is there anything wrong with being a settler? Is his theory even worth considering?
Dear Out of His League Betch,
While generally in most relationships there is a person who is slightly out of the other person’s league (read: winning), this doesn’t always have to be the case. In the ideal relationship both members are equal and both feel equally lucky to be with the other person. However, this is rare. However, just because you date fugly guys that doesn’t mean that they’re out of your league. Ugly Hots are guys who, while physically far less appealing than betches, are sought after by multitudes of hot girls everywhere. I mean do you really think Kate Middleton is out of Will’s league just because she’s hotter than him? Exactly.
The thing that I do find a red flag is that you refer to yourself as a settler which makes me think you have self esteem issues. If you thought you merely didn’t rank appearance as high as others when it comes to dating you wouldn’t think of yourself as ‘settling’ for guys who are less hot than you, you’d call yourself lucky to be with guys who are really funny/smart/cool etc. So in short there’s nothing wrong with dating guys who aren’t really hot but there is something wrong if you consider yourself settling.
I’ve got a major problem. Not you average melodramatic pro drama that you usually see. So basically me and a few of my besties thought it would be a “great” idea to make some what of a gossip girl account on instagram. I put an email in the info box so people would send us stories (which we got many of) but we would just post random stuff we heard but put a witty twist on it to make it funny. And BTW the whole thing was one big joke. And then shit got real.
One of the girls in on it accidentally posted a blast from her account and not from the gossip girl one. Pretty much the stupidest thing you could ever do. We know. But now all the psycho bitches from our school are going nuts (especially the ones that were on it). Were all getting attacked, just verbally (so far) and its just getting annoying. We knew we were playing with fire when we started it so now we should have to suffer the consequences but all of us are just SO over it and wish people would just laugh it off. But their not. Its not like any of us care that these people hate us its just we would rather not go into our fav froyo place and get yelled at.WTF should i do?!? Should I just do my best to keep my head up until it all blows over or what? Im in dire need of some good advice.
Not so Blair Waldorf anymore
Dear Not So Blair Waldorf Anymore,
I’m going to assume from your anonymous Gossip Girlesque instagram that you’re in high school because you’re clearly really immature and have no life if you’re spending your days stalking your peers and trying to instigate drama over the internet. My advice to you has two parts. The first is to suck it up, understand that you’re going to get shit and people are going to hate you because you did a rude, bitchy thing. Talk shit get hit. Deal with the consequences, and apologize. A lot. If you apologize to everyone you fucked with instead of pretending you don’t care that they hate you people will eventually chill out as long as you come off as sincere.
My second piece of advice is to get a life. Seriously, if your days are filled with thinking up innovative ways to start drama you seriously need to get some fucking hobbies. There’s a reason you don’t find out who Gossip Girl is and it’s probably because she’s some fat loser sitting with binoculars stalking the shit out of people’s lives instead of living one of her own. Reporting on gossip isn’t cool. Creating your own interesting life so people gossip about you is cool. Step your shit up and grow up.