Dear Betch…

Dear Betch,

It's a well known fact that true betches are gorgeous, skinny, (usually) put together, etc., and as a result, we often receive compliments from men and other women such as “you're so beautiful,” or “you're so thin,” or “may I carry your palanquin?” and so forth.

My question is, what are appropriate responses to these questions besides the usual “I know.”? Would/should said responses vary from bro to pro? What if you're trying to seem down to earth (lol)?


“Thank you” is for Nice Girls

Dear “Thank You” is for Nice Girls,

As sort of an awk betch at times, I can relate to this seemingly obvious question. In 8th grade a classmate of mine told me I had a great body on our school trip to the beach and after replying with a “thanks, you too” and being mocked by my besties, I knew I had to come up with a better way to deal with a lifetime of compliments being thrown my way.

Now, the term 'thanks' is not really nicegirl as it involves the smallest amount of thought to receiving a compliment while delivering the minimal level of effort so don't be so quick to eliminate “thank you” from your vocabulary. A betchy favorite after a compliment is something along the lines of “oh you're so sweet!” or “that's so nice, thanks!”, both of which are thanking the person for their obvious observation while simultaneously insulting the person by calling them sweet and nice. Of course, if you're feeling especially generous you can discuss your #104 token hated body part in order to make the person feel better about the fact that they are obviously not as hot and awesome as you. After all, even Kate Moss supports a charity or two.


The Betches