Maybe You Should Cool It On The Dry Shampoo

Fuck yeah dry shampoo is a gift from God. Are you late for class? Use dry shampoo. Late for work? Use dry shampoo. Afraid of puking in the shower for the third time this week? Again, dry shampoo. Fixes everything.

While it’s true that not washing your hair every day can make your strands healthier, it’s time we have an honest discussion about dry shampoo usage. Dirt, oil, and pollution from this disgusting/globally warmed world causes build up, and your incessant dry shampooing is only adding to that. Which can then lead to clogged follicles (fuck), and eventually hair loss (death). Plus, you’re starting to smell like a baby prostitute, and it’s making your friends uncomfortable. 

Rule of thumb: If you’re reaching for your dry shampoo more than three times in a row, you need to wash your hair. Dry shampoo isn’t supposed to take the place of regular shampoo, it’s just supposed to tide you over between washes. So like the other powdery white substance that makes you believe it’s possible to conquer the world, you shouldn’t be sustaining yourself on it.  


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