You took AP Government last year, right? Or any level of history? Even third grade social studies? We’re asking for a friend, President-elect Donald Trump, who needs a “yuuuge” favor. He really needs to borrow your notes.
Before you answer, let us just say that he hates to ask you so out of the blue like this. We’re sure you can understand how busy he’s been these last few weeks, jeopardizing the future of American democracy and seeing how many outspoken racists he can gather for his cabinet.
Add to that hiding his tax returns, Twitter-bashing 50% of the U.S. population and coiffing his hair, and there’s been absolutely no time to do his homework. He hasn’t felt this overwhelmed since he had to decide who to pay to take his SATs.
As much as Donald tried to prepare to be president, the deadline came up way faster than he anticipated. You can understand that, right? At one point or another we’ve all tried to cram our work into the night before an assignment was due. He’s tried Sparknotes and Wikipedia, but neither have solutions to immigration reform and he still has no idea what the hell this “Bill of Rights” thing is. To be completely honest, he checked out while learning the names of the 50 states. It was way too confusing, and he really hoped we’re not being tested on that.
Again, we wouldn’t be asking for your answers unless the future president desperately needed them. He’ll be sure to send you his notes for the next exam, because he will totally take them, since he wanted to do the work this time around but simply got too busy with totally legitimate extracurriculars such as cyberbullying. And, needless to say, Mr. Trump won’t be able to help out with any upcoming group projects, so if you could cover his portion of the work that would be great.
Thanks a bunch,
Trump’s equally clueless top advisors