Betches are like totally outdoorsy: we like drinking on boats, going to the beach, and tanning. See? Outdoorsy. For some reason or another, a betch might find herself camping—like maybe her dad guilted her into going on a camping trip so she could “bond” with her new stepmom, maybe it’s a sign of the apocalypse, whatevs. Regardless of the circumstances, you found yourself in the woods for an extended period of time and you need to survive. Don’t forget to pack these things or else you might literally die.
Toilet paper is step #1, like if you don’t have toilet paper you’re going to be up shit creek without a…wipe. Gross. If you forget toilet paper you should prob just hold it in for the entire time you’re there. At least it gives you a good excuse to not eat.
Step #2, you might be stuck with someone who doesn’t want you to waste your “drinking water rations” or whatever the fuck, and gross hands are literally the worst thing in the world.
You can’t actually be expected to like, become one with nature and shit, not when your besties are out there in civilization debating the merits of getting out of bed while hungover af. If you go off the grid for an entire weekend, you might like never catch up and you’d have to go find a whole new set of besties. Nobody has time for that.
Let’s be real, the only way you’re going to hug a tree would be if you were wasted out of your mind. I wonder if, in the absence of people, you’d have drunken heart-to-hearts with the wildlife?
Actually, scratch that—it’s best not to bring one. You prob don’t want to know what you look like.
Even though camping might not be super betchy (exception: camping at festivals is obv betchy), it is necessary for a betch to get out of her apartment every once in a while and really rough it so that she can appreciate everything she’s fortunate to have, like electrical outlets and food you don’t have to cook over a flame.