What’s more surprising? The fact that Britney’s still making music or the fact that she’s still alive? I don’t have the answer to that, but I do have this: Britney Spears’s newest album was released on Spotify and Apple Music last Friday. As it stands, Glory marks Brit’s long overdue return to pop star queen and light of my life. Who knows, maybe I will bust out my old signed poster of her in a crop top and pigtails from 1999. It’s that good.
After the disappointment that was Britney Jean our girl has found her stride. She’s gone back to Brit basics because we all know that the best part about Britney Spears—besides her ability to sometimes form coherent sentences—is her limited vocal range when it’s smashed against some synthetic instruments.
The overarching theme of Glory is sex, having sex, having sex with Britney, having sex without Britney, and more sex. AND all of the songs are either club bangers or slow jams that are about sex. Don’t miss “Just Luv Me” because it will give you a boost of self confidence, “Liar” which is a great song for you to send your boyfriend, and “If I’m Dancing” which is a super strange arrangement of sounds that will make you want to