Dear Betch, aka my holy grail,
So I’m almost 2 years post college grad and have yet to come remotely close to having a steady hook-up, crush, interest, etc. I spent my 4 years at college having one night stands and being distraught over my high school ex boyfriend who didn’t want me back. Now that I finally have my shit together (debatable) and realized how naive I was, I want a boy-toy of some sort to keep me interested and preoccupy my time; a distraction from my grad school assignments and someone to vent to about my bullshit waitress job on the side. Problem is: I feel like I literally have ZERO emotions. I don’t crush on any of the guys I talk to, I feel zero emotion when I hook up with them and iIm not even phased when they text me first or ask me to hangout sober. Did my ex give me a black soul/heart of ice? Will I be alone forever? Will I be the crazy drunk aunt who ruins christmas? Am I being dramatic?
a struggling single betch
OK SORRY I HAD TO.
In today’s edition of shit that’s above my pay grade: your emotional intimacy issues. Kidding, sort of. For sure, you’re being more than just a bit dramatic (but props on your exaggeration technique—not bad). I don’t think your high school ex turned your heart into ice forever; I think the more likely scenario is you’ve been dealing with a lot of fuckboys. Like, you had one-night stands in college with SAB‘s and everybody spends their first year out of college in utter denial, so, what do you really expect?
Find guys you have more in common with than just your drinking habits, eventually chemistry is bound to happen. And if it doesn’t and you’re really just a frigid bitch (who looks constipated), then it’s time to see a therapist.
Don’t bring your flask to Christmas dinner this year,
Got a fucked up question only The Betches will understand? Email us at email@example.com and you just might get a response.