Watching Bravo is shameful, but it’s fine because everyone does it, much like selfies and drunk eating. There is a definitive order of Bravo, ranging from moderately acceptable to TELL NO ONE. Here are the top 9 shows on Bravo that everyone knows you watch, but you probably should never admit to.
When everything else fails, Bravo is there to make us feel like we have our shit together, so for that, thank you.
This show has been on forever and I have no idea why. It looks lame and boring, but not that shameful.
This shit is hilarious and only 50% shameful. I say this because I’m a huge fan of Patti Stanger and her elite, ridiculous matchmaking style. To be fair, I’m not blaming her for creating zero legitimate relationships, her clientele is deranged. Remember: NO SEX BEFORE MONOGAMY.
This show is ridiculous, which seems to be the sole criteria for airtime over at Bravo HQ. It follows a hormonal group of deck hands and stewards on a private yacht in the British Virgin Islands and tries extremely hard to create sexual tension as much as possible, not unlike Laguna Beach. Basically this is Laguna Beach on a boat, ten years later.
This experiment with social media features six New York singles who can't find the one, so they rely on total strangers to tweet them advice and decide whom they date. Bulletproof concept. The audience chooses their dates and it is rarely / never successful. So if you want to watch a bunch of bad dates and feel better about your own life, hit up #TheSinglesProject.
“The New York Real Estate market right now is on fire.” Sure. This show is basically about gay guys either being openly gay and selling real estate or pretending not to be gay and selling real estate. They all hate each other because they all want to be each other. There’s a Million Dollar Listing in NY, LA and Miami but they’re all the same.
This show follows Real Housewives of Atlanta drop-out / extreme cougar Kim Zolciak, her NFL husband and their Brady Bunch of six children and random hired help. It is incredibly shameful. The intro is Kim’s “smash hit” (her words) ‘Tardy For the Party.’ Only watch this with friends and wine unless you actually do not have a life.
This show has only aired for one season but it still holds a respectable spot as one of the most shameful shows on the arguably most shameful network. The entire plot of Princesses was to follow six 27-30 year old Long Islanders who haven’t done anything since high school and feel super awkward that they’re not married yet. Don't worry they still drink and spend heavily in the meantime.
If you want to see some middle-aged, Middle-Eastern nudity, this is the show for you. Shahs of Sunset features a group of Iranian-Americans in LA and their absurd escapades. It’s like the Kardashians, but they’re uglier and more ethnic.
These shows are the holy grail of shame. They were funny for like 2 seasons, but if you’re legitimately watching RHOOC season 9, that is truly sad and I’m sorry for you. Obviously within the RH franchise there is a hierarchy. Most Shameful: Teresa Guidice and her two-head forehead in New Jersey, with Atlanta coming in at a close second. Least Shameful: New York, because at least the city is respectable, even if the women aren’t.