In 2016, it became really fucking hard to keep up with the Kardashians. Kylie is dating Tyga whose baby-mamma Blac Chyna is dating Kylie’s brother Rob. That’s like a family tree from the Appalachian Mountains. Well, Blac and Kylie have been fucking with each other on social media for like ever, but there seemed to be an unofficial truce when Rob and Blac went public. It was like the Berlin Wall of subTweets was torn down as the Cold War ended. But alas, the Soviet Union decided to threaten the US again. Tbh I’m not really sure who is who in that metaphor.
In her never-ending attempt to prove that she is an adult, Kylie decided to host a new show on her app “Cooking With Kylie.” Instead of making Buzzfeed recipes while getting blackout drunk, Kylie and her friend/professional chef are trying to be the next Rachel Ray. Yesterday they made candied yams, which she definitely didn’t eat because Spring Break is a month away and those fuckers are complex carbs.
Well Blac Chyna decided to get super aggressive on Instagram and started her own @cookingwithchyna, because it’s fun to fuck with your future sister-in-law. Like she may have single handedly saved Rob, but she’s the Yoko Ono of the Kardashian family. She is starting World War 3 – or as it will be known the War of Instagram Aggression.