Betches, listen up. We are literally witnessing the greatest Olympian to ever live in the pinnacle of his career.
And if that shit doesn’t interest you, he looks fucking good without a shirt on, so whatever. Introducing our betchy athlete of the week: Michael Phelps.
Michael Phelps has racked up 21 Olympic Gold Medals and 25 Olympic Medals overall. So 21 out of the 25 times he’s ever competed in the Olympics, he’s won gold. So casual.
It may seem like Michael has been around forever, because he basically has. He’s only 31 years old, but this is his fifth Olympics. So yeah, we’ve been hearing about him nonstop since he was 15.
A few things have changed since Phelps first splashed the Olympic pool. Most notably, he grew into his lanky limbs and became really attractive.
Like, really attractive.
He’s also passed on his Olympic genes to an adorable baby boy named Boomer (with his own Instagram) who’s actually in Rio to support daddy Michael.
Andddd in more depressing news, he’s also engaged to the mother of Boomer and former Miss California, Nicole Johnson.
Michael has cleaned up his act since his days of partying and smoking weed in public. But we’ll never forget where you came from, Michael.
A win for Michael Phelps is a win for America. And Betches love America. Keep doing your thing, Michael.