The Betches’ Guide To Traveling In Groups

Traveling in groups is a rite of passage after college. When you’re young you only travel with your family, summer camp, or like your dance team if you went to nationals. But as an adult, you realize you don’t need to win regionals to go somewhere with betches your age.

Group vacas are a necessity as an adult because much like couples go on vacations to make sure they can stand each other in a new environment, friends travel together to do the same. Also group travel is a chance to hang out without any of your dud or povo friends bothering you. Like, there’s zero chance a dud will show up at a pregame because she figured out where you’d be on FB, if that pregame is in Prague.

Speaking of poor people, In every group vaca there is the planner betch. She’s the one that creates a Google drive folder with shit like “expenses” and an excel sheet of your itinerary and how much everyone owes her. You might find this annoying, but she’s def necessary. Like when you’re blackout in Barcelona and you can’t remember if you hooked up with anyone and therefore aren’t sure if you should get Plan B, you can just check the expense excel sheet and you’ll see that you owe her 15 euro for a cab home which means you did not go home with anyone. Very convenient.

Bachelorette Kaitlyn Relieved

When planning who’s in your group, make sure everyone going is as chill as you. You can tell this by how much shit everyone packs in her suitcase. If anyone has to check more than two bags, she’s going to slow down the group. 

The best part of traveling in a group is that no matter what you end up doing, you’ll have fun if you like the people you’re with are shitfaced. Unless you’re going to like a religious country, you can get drunk almost anywhere in the world. Which means unlike your family vacations where your parents had to creatively come up with things for you to do during the day like go to museums, drinking can just be your activity each day. And night.

Lisa Vanderpump Drinking

At some point in the planning, someone will decide that it’s a good idea for you to all contribute to the group by bringing something. Like, if you’re going to a cabin, they’ll probably suggest you each bring something to cook. Even though you’ll have plenty of time to prepare your share of whatever it is you’re supposed to bring, you’re def going to forget. Don’t worry, just bring drugs and everyone will forgive you. Also, you barely eat anything anyways so it’s def not fair for you to contribute bread, which you’re basically allergic to.

There’s always a person in your group that’s way too ambitious about what you should do each day. Like, they’re the ones that want to actually see the Eiffel Tower when you’re in Paris and wait in line for the London Eye in London. This is when traveling with more than 3 people comes in handy. Chances are at least one other betch doesn’t want to do any of those things. Just suggest that you split up, and go shopping instead.

Other things to do before you travel in a group:

  • Come up with the trip hashtag
  • Come up with a fake birthday or engagement to celebrate because you’ll get free shit and have more fun that way
  • Get a local phone
  • Bring headphones

Basically your group vacation is like if you lived inside your group chat for a whole week. But instead of being at work or like, driving, you’re on fucking vacation. Just like your group chat, group vacation is a time to remind the rest of the world that you and your friends are better than everyone else and that you don’t need anyone else.

Kanye West I'm The Best


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